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The mid 90's was a dire time in Kabwe, Zambia. HIV/AIDS had been gaining momentum for some time, facilitated by widespread ignorance, stigma and denial. The proportion of the population affected directly or indirectly by the HI virus was spiralling out of control. As parents died, grandparents took on the responsibility of stretching their meagre resources to care for the growing population of orphaned children. As if this wasn't enough, the economy in Kabwe was also dying. Almost overnight the region's copper mines halted to a stop as the international price of copper plummeted. This economic shock snowballed leading to the bankruptcy of textile factories, zinc and lead mines (see photo above) and the privatization and downsizing of Zambian Railways. The citizens of Kabwe were devastated. It was during these crises that a handful of caregivers decided to organize Chindwin Home Based Care (CHBC). These caregivers volunteered their time and resources to care for the overwhelming number of individuals crippled and housebound because of AIDS. These efforts operated with little government support during a time when the prices of antiretroviral medication were exorbitant and beyond the means of nearly all Zambians. After a few years of fighting an uphill battle, some of the caregivers decided to develop a microcredit program whereby caregivers could invest in a savings fund. The fund acted as a source for community members to secure loans and as an investment opportunity ...
http://steelgrillrestaurant.com// Chindwin Home Based Care - Savings & Loans Association (long version)
Chongwe River House is located in an excellent game viewing area lying between the mighty Zambezi River and the Zambezi escarpment is known as the Lower Zambezi National Park.
Occupying an area of staggering 4000sq metres the park is home to the bull elephants, big cats and many species of antelope that this area is well known for and can easily satisfy the appetite of the most avid game watcher. The riverene areas of the park provide extensive birding opportunities and fishing activities.
The Zambezi River is 1.7km wide at the point it meets a quiet tributary called The Chongwe River and here sandy islands bursting with reed beds provide excellent feeding grounds for the land and airborne wildlife. Gliding past these islands in a mokoro smoothly paddled by one of the experienced guides provides a unique vantage point to watch the animals and birds.
Standing on the banks of the Chongwe River, close to where it meets the Zambezi, lies Chongwe River House. It is a totally private, sumptuously comfortable residence having both excellent game viewing on the river and a breathtaking vista of the dramatic escarpment, perfect for a luxury safari.
The house can sleep eight guests and is ideal as base for a family or group of friends wanting a safari of total privacy, personal attention and luxury. Sensitively built and furnished from materials taken from the nature all around it, the house is equipped with four spacious double bedrooms each with a king sized bed swathed in acres of netting and having a view of the bush or the escarpment. The en-suite bathrooms have a waterfall shower and basins carved from wood and white marble and here too guests can enjoy fantastic views as they bathe!
Chongwe River House is fully staffed with its own house manager, private chef and guide totally dedicated to create and deliver the best experiences of dining, relaxation and game viewing - in fact your tailor made dream safari. Being totally private the plans of the day are flexible and individual to the group's or individual guests' needs and timetable.
This is never more important than when taking into consideration the needs of children and the total adaptability of your private chef for example can eradicate any issues with meals or mealtimes to ensure a stress free holiday. Likewise the privacy enables total freedom concerning their boisterousness and the staff are more than happy to entertain their young guests by playing games or allowing them to help in the food preparation. Whilst this is an ideal location for families there is a minimum age of seven years which has to be taken into consideration.
In addition to the private guide, guests at Chongwe River House have exclusive use of vehicles, canoes and a boat together with the services of an armed scout for those who wish to venture out on a walking safari. Equipment is available to try your hand at fishing and you may be lucky to land a famous tiger fish - quite a memory! A stay here is tailor made both inside and outside the House.
For those that prefer to relax on the deck shaded by a huge winterthorn tree with a cool drink no opportunities will be forgone as it is common to see elephants crossing the river and impala, kudo and the like will all come to drink at your own private viewing gallery. Related Chongwe River House, Zambia Topics
Question by vanillacream753: Does my husband have a personality disorder or is this typical male behavior? I will not go into details because that would be a book of all the things my husband has done. I think it is time for me to move on but I really dont want to because we have a 16month son together and plus I just dont want to divorce him and try to work things out. But I feel like I am the only one putting an effort towards that. He seems to not care at all about our marriage problems. Sometimes I make an excuse saying maybe this problem is a cultural one. He is from Zambia Africa and I am African American from Texas. Please give me some advice. My husband: acts arrogant and cocky like he has no time for me or my problems seems to be looking down on me like he can get someone better doesnt apologize or admits he is wrong when clearly it was proven makes me feel like the guilty person when he has done wrong doesnt acknowledge my feelings when I have a problem ignores me when I cry is nonchalant when I threaten to leave or move out.. doesnt show any interest in my life will still have sex with me but does not kiss me or do any foreplay secretive.. got a loan for $ 4000.00 and deposited it into his business bank account which I dont have access to. constantly lies to me in my face about little things cheater.. found recorded videos of him sending another lady and pictures of him with his shirt off.. when I confronted him he said that was a long time ago and he had to tell her no because she was pursuing him (again, never apologized or showed any type or remorse for his actions) ungrateful and lazy: doesnt help me out around the house and when I mentioned it he got upset and said he would wash his own clothes from now on... but thats not what I meant.. i have no problem doing those things just would like some assistance sometimes or appreciation. I work a 12 hour shift, in school, and have a toddler to take care of. Not a maid or homemaker There are more things but these are the main issues I have.. I have spoken to him repeatedly about these problems over the past 4 years and nothing has changed.. has actually gotten worse since we had our son... Your advice is appreciated. craig b: What you have said is very untrue. I never said he has been like this the whole time. Actually I didnt see alot of things I do now. People do change and he has. We were together 6 months before we got married which is too soon I think now. And the only thing I noticed was I caught him in a couple of lies but I really didnt think that was a going to be a continuing problem because he showed me how sorry he was and that he really wanted me. Now all that has changed. Best answer for Does my husband have a personality disorder or is this typical male behavior?:
Answer by PEGGY S
In short, you are describing a typical male chauvinist pig!!! He is a man that believes that the world revolves around him. You will never change him. Next time watch for those "Red Flags" BEFORE you marry. They are always there, but we tend to ignore them, because we truly believe that this person can be a better person. Unfortunately, if they really wanted to be a better person, it would not take you or me to change them. They would do it for themselves!! So sorry you had to experience this, but I truly hope you will be more careful next time. Not all men are arrogant, egotist, with no regard for anyone else.
Answer by ashwin
Ask directly whether he is having affair with some other lady?
Answer by Clo is back !
Four years and a son after, with this behavior, I would have dumped him already after the first year ! He is the ultimate "macho man" and if you feel as if he's worth fighting for, well go ahead but I just don't see that he will ever change. And no, my husband, is not like that. I would simply not allow it, with kids or not !
Answer by jeff
Well has it ever jumped into your head that's hes doing that because he wants you to leave, he doesn't love you anymore, or because he wants to be alone or with someone else? Well it popped in mine. Something is stopping him from telling you whats on his mind, and his feelings directly and that why hes acting the part. Do YOURSELF and your BABY a favor and leave. It would be better off for the both of you if you found someone that would love the both of you and not treat you like a pet! I think he is and has cheated on you to. Have you ever heard "your actions speak louder then your words"? Well his are screaming for you to leave, that he doesn't care, and that he doesn't want to be with you. I'm sorry. Im not trying to be a dick or anything but Its true. It might hurt and maybe that's why you haven't excepted it or didn't do anything about it because you don't want to believe it. Well im sorry to say but you have to. If not for yourself but for your son. Do whats best for HIM if you won't do it for yourself. No man is worth more then your son... or at least shouldn't be. Sorry about your boyfriend though. You deserve better!!! Hope I helped :)
Answer by Observer
Stop the nagging. Men don't like women who can't stop complaining. One of you need to be humble. I don't think it's going to be him. To prevent a war, it's up to you.
Answer by craig b
These are things are/were his character BEFORE you got married! Were you blind? This is also a very common characteristic of African males. They are raised to be the dominant one which some women like - obviously you did or you would not have been attracted to him in the first place. Now you know that dominance has NO PLACE in marriage! It's to be equally submissive unto one another. He will never change. You asked for and got exactly what you saw! I have no advice for you. You bought the package that was wide open when you purchased it.
Answer by grahod
Your mistake is threatening to leave or move out, then not following through with doing what you say you're going to do. NEVER threaten to leave unless you really mean it. When you don't follow through with doing what you say you will, this just tells him it's an empty threat, and he will then know that he can do whatever he want to do and you won't do anything except be a doormat for him. He has no need to compromise when he knows that you aren't going do anything but cry about what he does. Be strong, do what you say you're going to do, or don't say it. Do you really want your son to grow up to be as selfish, and inconsiderate as his father is? Teach your son that his father's behavior is unacceptable, that a real man would not treat their wife this way. I'm not saying to verbally run his father down. I'm just saying to teach him by your example of being a strong woman. Show your son what a strong woman will accept and what she won't accept from someone who is supposed to love her.
Answer by free_angel
Divorce him already and refuse to have him as a role model for your son.
Answer by Bubbles
Your choice, dump him and make your life simpler or if you wish to save the marriage than I advise you ignore him completely. Make him wonder why the sudden change in you. The best medicine for man like this is always the silent treatment. But there is a catch.....do your duty as usual but completely ignore him. Show to him, whatever he does wont affect you...... My grandmother recipe never fails.....
Answer by Bill C
Do you know that saying 'monkey see, monkey do'? Well, what your son sees, he will eventually learn and become. To him, this is how men treat women. This is what he is learning. Regardless of culture, these are all moral issues and in fact, it raises more questions than it answers. You have a certain duty of care for your son, again, a moral issue, but something that you need to pay serious attention to. What would you say to your son's wife if she came to you with these issues? Now consider this perspective. If you leave and head for divorce court, your lawyer can have all assets frozen until the issues are sorted out. This man you are with is passive aggressive and is seemingly uninterested in you as a human being, let alone as a wife. You are there to do his things, raise his son, *uck him when he wants and feed his lazy *ss. If he gets upset about you asking for help, wait til you ask for a divorce. He'll be out of his mind. I bet he has a real love for money and business right? Well, as we all know, a divorce can ruin a guy financially or at least, make him feel that it is. After four years of you expressing your feelings and tolerating his behaviour, you need to make a choice. If in doubt, remember how this all affects your son.
Answer by brwneyedgrl
I think its alittle bit of both.. culture and just being a man.. because im pretty positive in his culture the man runs the show and the woman just caters do them.. But some parts are just male characteristics.. the fact that men dont run on emotions and some men are actually able to tune out women when they get emotional , or become emotionally needy The fact that he doesnt freak out when u threaten to leave, is probably 1. he doesnt believe u'll do it.. 2. he's smart enough to know ur looking for a reaction and not willing to let you have it to think u have control of his emotions even if it does bother him.. Most men dont like to have to admit they are wrong about anything, and some men dont appologize in words but by their actions.. So i think its alittle bit of both, the i am man i control what happens , and your the little woman i dont need your permission for anything.. and some are just typical male traits that alot of men seem to share.. the question really is.. Is this what u want from your marriage? How long can you go before you either make a true stand or give up your own needs and wants? You can try your hardest to get someone to change, but if their not willing to it eventually falls back on you to decide if you can live this life or not and if its healthy for your child to be raised in this relationship or not because although u can not always change someone else, the one person u can always change, is yourself so its your choice..
Answer by GenuineGemini
No this is not typical male behaviour. Your husband doesnt not appreicate you and you being with him will drag you down. If my husband did this to me, i would have left long ago with my kid. Your a working woman and from what you have written, i think you have a good head and heart. If your husband is not willing to work on the marriage, please do not waste your life and time with him and be his slave. I am really sorry to say this but my friend got married to an african guy who did the same, he kept cheating on her and treated her like trash. She ultimately left him as she was going crazy and depressed. The first year was really hard for her but now, she has bought a house, has her two daughters in school, she has met are really nice guy and is so happy. You owe it to yourself to live a life of dignity and respect and dont let anyone take that away from you. He is probably showing no interest because he is pre-occupied with another woman....sick ba*stard..... Give him his last 3months with you to change and he a good, responsible father and husband, if he aint doing that, you move on gurl. Good luck
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